Published February 28, 2006
Apparently so. It beats doing real work at school. There's no real point to any of them. Enjoy.
Insomnia is,
cropcircles burned into wax,
and doubt with matches.
The curtains explode,
butterfly violent and fake,
mushroom clouds of wind.
We're only freezing,
in the world of centigrade,
here we like our shorts.
Moonlit projections,
venetian prison bars mime,
intermittent sleep.
Stories ran away,
wishing for a suburbia,
stored in a warehouse.
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141,247 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Ok, I didn't get any of them, but maybe that's a good sign. They sounded good, anyhow.
I really like the first and last. These are really good. You could try using a line of underscores to make it clear that these are separate. All together they remind me a little of tripping on drugs :p Great work though. Kudos.
Uhm, are these all separate poems? I love Haiku poems because in their small few words, they're so beautiful and if they're done well, then they can really inspire someone with a long poem; just with very few words.
I quite liked these few, but I have to say that they weren't very poetic in their entirety. You used a good range of imagery and I think the ideas are nice, but you need to make it seem more like a poem and less like someone discussing the news?
I hope you understand.
Mischief x
wish - ing - for - a - su - bur - bi - a
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
just cut our the "a" between for and suburbia.
either i'm missing something or this is completely random.
otherwise, i really enjoyed this series of haikus. they all tied in well, and i practicually liked the first stanza. the cropcircles burned into wax thing just made me shiver. so good job, i suppose.